You know it's going to be a bad day when...
Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
You wake up face down on the pavement.
You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.
You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.
You see a "60 Minutes news team" waiting in your outer office.
Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.
Your only son tells you he wishes Anita Bryant would mind her own
business.
You want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party, and there
aren't any.
You turn on the TV news and they're displaying emergency routes out of
your city.
The woman you've been seeing on the side begins to look like your
wife.
You wake up to discover that your water bed broke, but you don't have a water bed.
Your horn goes off accidently and remains stuck as you follow a group
of Hell's Angels.
You open the paper and find your picture under a caption that reads:
"WANTED: DEAD OR ALIVE!"
Your ex-lover calls and tells you he has 6 days to live, and that
you'd better get the Test.
You wake up at work naked in front of your co-workers.