You Might Be A Redneck If...

• Your house still has the "WIDE LOAD" sign on the back.

• You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.

• You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.

• Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen.

• You believe dual air bags refer to your wife and mother-in-law.

• Your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed.

• You go to your family reunion looking for a date.

• Your Junior/Senior Prom had a Daycare.

• You carried a fishing pole into Sea World.

• Your huntin dawg had a litter of puppies in the living room and nobody noticed.

• You can get dog hair from your belly button.

• The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife.

• You had to remove a toothpick for your wedding pictures.

• You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

• You have a rag for a gas cap.

• The blue book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.

• You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.

• A seven course meal is a bucket of KFC and a sixpack.

• One of your kids was born on a pool table.

• You have spray painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.

• You can tell your age by the number of rings in the bathtub.

• You can change the oil in your truck without ducking your head.

• You own a homemade fur coat.

• Your wife's job requires her to wear an orange vest.

• On Thanksgiving Day you have to decide which pet to eat.

• Your school fight song is "Dueling Banjos".

• You think "taking out the trash" means taking your in-laws to a movie.

• Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

• You got Clapper devices controling the appliances in your house.

• You hammer bottle caps into the frame of your front door to make it look nice.

• The Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

• The taillight covers of your car are made of red tape.

• You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape.

• You think a hot tub is a stolen bathroom fixture.

• The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

• You think the French Riviera is a foreign car.

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