What I Learned In Anatomy Class
Brain: Seldom used.
Eyes: Unreliable organs used to appraise members of the opposite sex in
bars.
Lungs: Used for heavy breathing and inhaling foreign substances.
Heart: Used to fall madly in love with a different person every weekend.
Liver: Swollen, overworked organ used to process large quantities of beer
and grain alcohol.
Large intestine: Basically, a sophisticated launching pad for beer farts.
Spleen: Often coughed up in its entirety after long nights of drinking.
Appendix: Does nothing, but can get you out of class for two weeks if
removed.
Stomach: Temporary storage facility for burritos, pizza, and the
occasional homecooked meal.
Bladder: Annoyingly small organ that results in long bathroom lines and
frequent citations of indecent exposure.
Crotch: Decision making nerve center of the body. Often thought to be
larger than the actual size.
Feet: Used to run rapidly away from any kind of commitment,
responsibility, and employment.